A new sofa

I am an advertiser’s dream. I’m sure if I was to turn up at ‘Derren Brown does Hypnosis’ at Sheffield City Hall, I’d be an easy target. But I do have some kind of self restraint. This much I know. I have wanted a little two-seater sofa for a few months to go in the gaping space in front of my radiator, but instead of ordering a £1000 made to measure sofa from Habitat, I have been making a daily trek down to the Next Outlet near my house to see if there has been an appropriate return. Ooh – will the brown two-seater do? It’s 60% off… NO. IT WILL NOT DO. So every day I go back, looking for all the world like a weird shop lifter walking straight to the discount sofas, and walking straight back out again.


Today, oh my, today was different. Today I walked in and found my perfect sofa. It was small, perfectly formed, and purple. PURPLE! Oh my days. I thought I was looking for a grey sofa, but it turned out I was actually looking for a purple one! And there it was! And so I bought it. And Paul – the man with a van – is going to deliver it for me tomorrow. So hang fire, folks, and hopefully this time tomorrow I will be able to give you picture of my new purple sofa in situ! Now the question is, will I cover it in fairy lights…Purple fairy lights

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